


Always In My Headspace

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Outside I Can Fight My Fear [2]
Category: 2NE1, Big Bang (Band), Winner (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Emotionally Repressed, Femdom, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 05:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17319032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: That’s why Chaerin’s here. She’s the bridge between them, the excuse they can both use to live in denial as she has them use each other for her own pleasure.





	Always In My Headspace

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this tonight thanks to the kpop fanfic discord crew running sprints with me. They're all great and encouraging. I hope you all like this! Comments are loved. You can find me on twitter @ Defaltmanifesto. Title from Lovely by Billie Eilish which is what most of this was written to.

Minho takes a deep breath and lets it out through his nose, trying to keep it steady as he watches Chaerin finish tying Jiyong’s left ankle to the bed post. His other limbs are already secured. Chaerin slips her hair over her shoulder and then looks over at him.

“Come here, baby,” she says as she climbs off Jiyong and sits beside him instead.

Minho swallows and obeys, eyes raking up and down Jiyong’s thin form as he joins her on the bed on the opposite side. Tattoos stand out like scars on his pale skin. His lips, cherry red and plump and slick from kissing Chaerin as she’d slipped a cock ring on him and stroked him to hardness, draw his attention next. He wonders what his cock would look like between them. Guilt chases the feeling, because it’s Jiyong, someone he looks up to, not someone he’s supposed to lust for.

But that’s why Chaerin’s here. She’s the bridge between them, the excuse they can both use to live in denial as she has them use each other for her own pleasure. She grabs Minho’s wrist and tugs him, both hands coming into play as she guides him to straddle Jiyong’s stomach and put his thigh muscles to use while tempting him with the softness of Jiyong’s stomach beneath his own hard cock.

“He’s all ready for you,” she says, pressing her lips to his jaw, then his ear, then his lips. “Aren’t you, Jiyong?”

Minho looks down at him, but there’s no expression to read, his eyes covered with a thick strip of black fabric.

“Yes,” Jiyong says, voice soft.

Chaerin tugs on the chain and lock that grace Minho’s neck, pulling him in for a bruising kiss as she slides her other hand down and runs it over his ass before slipping her fingers over his hole. He’d taken care of opening himself up while she’d turned Jiyong into the tool they both wanted. She hums in satisfaction and Minho can’t help the thrill of pleasure he gets knowing he’s pleased her.

Minho shifts as she pushes and pulls him into position so he’s braced above Jiyong’s cock. It’s with her hands on his hips that he sinks down. He gasps into their kiss at the stretch, the fullness, panic and shame and pleasure clawing their way through him as he sinks all the way down, ‘til his ass is flush with Jiyong’s thighs and his own balls press against Jiyong’s pelvis. Chaerin murmurs something against his lips, something like comfort and love _it’s okay, it’s okay._

He hadn’t been able to take Jiyong’s cock at first, too full of feelings he didn’t want to address. It’d been her, arms hooked under his knees as Jiyong watched from the corner as she slid inside him with a strap-on, designed to feel as close to the real thing as possible. It was easier, with her lips against his and her tits pressed against his chest, to give himself over to the pleasure it gave him because they were still a man and a woman. It wasn’t what he wanted, not truly. He wanted more.

It hadn’t been until he’d seen Jiyong in the same position that he’d gotten up the guts to try it this way, and every time they’d all been together since then it’d been like this. It’s the time they can both give in to what they want, let everything go, the expectations, the masks they put on for everyone around them.

“I…” Minho gasps out, rolling his hips and reveling in the feeling of Jiyong within him. “Feels good…”

“I know,” Chaerin says, hand rubbing over his chest and pinching one of his nipples.

He jerks and whimpers as Jiyong spasms beneath him, unable to get any leverage when he’s so tied up. Chaerin’s hand grips his chin and makes him look down.

“Doesn’t he look beautiful?” she asks.

She reaches her other hand out and Minho can’t help but track her hand across Jiyong’s chest and his stomach, watching as Jiyong’s skin trembles and flinches beneath the feather soft touch. Jiyong lets out a rough breath, then groans as Minho lifts up and begins to ride him, unable to resist any longer. He wants to feel him. Chaerin pulls away and shifts behind him, hands finding his hips once more and guiding him as she pleases up and down Jiyong’s cock. It’s too hard to look down at Jiyong so he lets his head fall back against her shoulder, soft moans escaping him as he rocks, mind mellowing out into something like silence as he’s filled over and over again.

Chaerin kisses his neck, licking at the skin above where the chain lies. He shudders and squeezes around Jiyong’s cock, heart pounding at the responding moan it draws from Jiyong. He wants so badly to focus on just Chaerin. His mind can’t sink into the silence when he can hear Jiyong panting, can hear him moan, driven by the own pleasure he feels from sinking his cock into Minho. He shakes and goes still as the shame for enjoying it rocks through him.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” Chaerin says, kissing his cheek and taking the tears away with her lips. “I’m going to take the blindfold off.”

Minho’s breath stops, just for a moment. He’s torn, wanting more than anything to have a true connection with Jiyong, see that he wants it just as bad as he does so he doesn’t feel so alone in the feeling. But that means Jiyong will see him too.

“Okay,” he says, and Jiyong nods his own assent.

Chaerin slides around him again, crawling to the head of the bed and slipping one hand beneath Jiyong’s head, undoing the blindfold with a few quick tugs. His eyes stay shut. Minho takes a deep breath and for a moment, neither of them move. Jiyong shakes in his bonds. Minho thinks maybe he’s going to have to be the brave one. He doesn’t look at Chaerin, instead moving with a confidence he wishes were more real as he rolls his hips again, biting his lip around a moan before shifting, stretching out over Jiyong’s skinnier form and tucking his face into his neck as he rocks.

It feels nice, having Jiyong pressed up so tight to him. He can feel every tremor as Jiyong tries to thrust up only to be stopped by the way he has no leverage. It takes another moment for Minho to grasp the bravery again and kiss Jiyong’s neck and speak.

“You feel so good,” he says, voice shaky. “Jiyong, you feel so good inside.”

“Oh God,” Jiyong says as his own voice breaks on a moan. “Minho…”

Minho thinks he knows what he wants, hopes he’s right as he pushes up long enough to press their lips together and fuck, it’s everything he’s ever wanted. Jiyong’s lips beneath his, kissing and gasping and groaning together as he moves. He’s aware, distantly, of Chaerin moving. Then there’s a hand in his hair, fingers long and thin as they twist through and pull him closer. A moment later, there’s another at the back of his neck and he realizes Chaerin’s let his arms free but he doesn’t really register what she’s doing until suddenly Jiyong’s arms wrap around his back and he’s being rolled onto his back.

Jiyong pulls out of him and he whimpers at the lost, back arching as he drives his hips down in a vain attempt to keep him in, keep him close. He watches as Jiyong tugs the cock ring off and then he’s back, spreading out over Minho as he slides back in, hands like vices around Minho’s wrists and his eyes, his eyes stare right into his own.

For so long, he’s thought it would be too much. With Chaerin, it was safe to indulge the feelings, a buffer between his desire to control his life and his desire to be with who he wanted. They’d been working there way towards this moment for so long. The anticipation ate at him, ate at Jiyong, but now as he looks into Jiyong’s eyes he can’t help but wonder what the fuck he was so afraid of. There’s nothing scary about looking into Jiyong’s eyes. Jiyong doesn’t look at him with coldness or disgust or pity. Instead, it’s like looking in a mirror, seeing all the love and desire he has for Jiyong reflected right back at him, their feelings feeding off each other as Jiyong fucks him with slow and deliberate motions.

“Feels so good,” he says, and this time it’s easy, the words falling right out of him as Jiyong sends jolts of pleasure ricocheting up his spine and across his ribs.

Jiyong laughs, not a mean sound, just something like relief. He leans down and presses their lips together in a kiss that’s slow and sweet, so much better than the pain tinged desperation from before. He bites at Jiyong’s lip and drinks in the groan he gets for his trouble. He lets his hands roam over all the parts he’s watched Chaerin’s hands map out, feeling at the way the skin with his tattoos felt softer than the rest, feeling the knobs of his spine, feeling how nice it is to cradle his bony hips in his thighs.

Jiyong breaks the kiss to bite at Minho’s jaw, teeth scraping, the faint, barely there hint of stubble making him shiver.

“I want to ruin you,” Jiyong says, voice breaking on pants as his rhythm grows sloppy. “Fuck, Minho, the things I’m going to do to you…”

Minho doesn’t get a chance to respond because Jiyong’s hand wraps around his cock the next moment, only managing one stroke before he’s coming. He chokes on Jiyong’s name, blunt nails digging into his spine and raking down across his ribs as he rides it out, eyes fluttering shut as Jiyong continues to drive into him and chase his own release. He’s barely conscious when Jiyong comes, floating on his own rush of endorphins and pleasure, giddy with the relief of finally getting what he’s wanted after so long.

When Jiyong collapses on top of him and mouths at his neck, it’s easy to take. Even with Jiyong’s light weight, the lock that rests on his collarbone between them digs into their skin but he likes it, likes the reminder of the one who brings them together over and over again. He swallows and opens his eyes, finding Chaerin easily from where she sits beside them.

“Sorry if that wasn’t any good for you,” Minho says.

Chaerin rolls her eyes and shifts enough that she can lean over Jiyong and press their lips together in a quick kiss. Then she grabs Jiyong’s chin and twists him enough to give him one too.

“I am beyond pleased watching that,” she says, voice low and rough. “Next time, I’m going to make you both do exactly what I want.

Jiyong makes a pained noise as Minho clenches around him. “You can’t say things like that when I’m so sensitive.”

Chaerin laughs and runs her fingers through Jiyong’s hair as Jiyong pulls out of Minho. “All the more reason to if you ask me. Both of you wait here, I’ll get the bath around.”

Minho’s not sure how he’s going to actually walk to the bathroom. He just wants to stay here, wrapped up in Jiyong and the feeling of contentment that creeps through is bones like the tentative roots of happiness, still not sure if they’ll be ripped out.

“I don’t know why it took so long,” Jiyong says against his neck. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like…you shouldn’t feel the way you do about me, especially when I…when I feel the same.”

Minho wraps his arms tight around him, tight enough to bruise with how wiry Jiyong is. “It’s okay. I’m sorry if I made you feel the same. We were being pretty dumb.”

Jiyong smiles, Minho can feel it against his neck. “Yeah. But I won’t be anymore. I promise.” Jiyong shifts and presses his lips to the metal lock between them. “Promise.”


End file.
